Can I get a Divorce under Adultery

There is one sole ground for Divorce in Singapore: that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. However, you “cannot simply claim” the irretrievable breakdown of marriage.

There are facts that you can rely on to show that your marriage has irretrievably broken down, or that you find it intolerable to live with the defendant. One of them is Adultery.

What is Adultery?

Adultery is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person of the opposite sex who is not their spouse.

Adultery is NOT a crime in Singapore.

Here are some scenarios for you to consider.

Scenario 1: I caught my husband in bed with another woman. I want a divorce. Can I rely on Adultery?

You have just come home from a long day of work, ready to wind down, have a shower and have your dinner. You walk into your bedroom and find clothes on the floor. You think that your husband is being lazy again by not picking up his clothes. But you notice that someone is in your bed. You lift the covers and to your horror, you find your husband in bed with another woman!

In his quick attempt to justify the situation, he gives some flimsy excuse as to why there is a woman in your bed. But that is completely lost to you. You are mad. You are sad. You are betrayed!

You want a divorce and you want to rely on Adultery.

So Can You?

You may be able to.

To rely on adultery, or to prove adultery, you need to have concrete evidence that your husband has been having a sexual relationship with another woman. Foreplay does not count as sex. Kissing or hugging does not count as sex. There must be sexual intercourse. To put it bluntly, your husband’s penis must enter the other woman’s vagina. And unfortunately, witnessing them doing the deed or claiming that he had sex with another woman is not enough when it comes to proving adultery. Take a picture or a recording, or any form of visual evidence.

But, if he confesses to you, even better! Record his confession. You will need a recording of his confession. It could be a text message or phone conversations that has recorded him confessing to the deed.

[Please note that if your spouse has been engaging in homosexual acts, you cannot rely on adultery, as the penetration in “other holes” are not considered ordinary or complete intercourse in the consummation of marriage. Therefore, in such a scenario in the eyes of the court, such sexual relations would not be substantial in getting a divorce based on adultery.]

What Evidence Do I Need?

Evidence is necessary because your husband will just deny the adulterous relationship. It will be your words against his.

So. Take a picture or a recording to collect evidence. Then you can rely on Adultery.

I have enough evidence. What next?

Scenario 2: My wife is pregnant but I am not the father. How do I know? I have not been having sex with her.

One day your wife comes along and says that she is 3 months pregnant. You are shocked and think to yourself “No!”. You calm down and suddenly you think to yourself: “Wait. I haven’t had sex with my wife in 4 months. How is this possible? She must have cheated on me!”

You want a divorce and you want to rely on Adultery.

So Can You?

Yes you can.

But first, you need to prove that the child is not yours. In law, a child born during a marriage or 280 days after a divorce is presumed to be yours.

What Evidence Do I Need?

The answer is a Paternity Test.

With a Paternity Test providing concrete DNA evidence, you have sufficient proof to establish that the child is not yours, and it also indicates her involvement in an adulterous relationship. In case of denial, you can inquire about the circumstances leading to her pregnancy.

So yes, with a paternity test as evidence of adultery, you can rely on Adultery.

I have enough evidence. What next?

Scenario 3: I think my husband has a mistress. I want a divorce. What should I do?

For a few months now, you started noticing that your husband is becoming increasingly distant. He is very uninterested in you. He does not ask “how was your day?”, “have you eaten?”, or “how was work?”, which is out of his normal behaviour. What he does is spend hours on end texting on his phone, and he suddenly starts putting his phone face down! You ask him who he is texting but he refuses to give you an answer. To make it worse, he spends less time at home and stays out till late hours. You suspect that he is having an extramarital affair and you find it intolerable to live with him.

You want a divorce and want to rely on Adultery.

So Can You?

Your suspicions alone are not enough.

Again, to file for divorce based on Adultery, you need to prove that your husband had sex with another woman.

What Evidence Do I Need?

In such a situation, such evidence may be difficult to gather. What you can do aside from following him around yourself, is hire a Private Investigator.

A private investigator will follow your husband to try and obtain video or photographic evidence of your husband having sex. However, unless your husband is an exhibitionist, it is more than likely that he will have sex with another woman in a private place such as the woman’s home or in a hotel room.

If your husband does have a mistress, the private investigator will provide you with a report showing him kissing, groping and holding hands with another woman or walking into a hotel room with another woman, you can use this as evidence against him. The private investigator might even report to you that he saw your husband and his mistress enter a car. The car starts bouncing. It is more than likely to assume that your husband is cheating on you.

I have enough evidence. What next?

Scenario 4: My friend just called and told me that my wife is holding hands with another man. I want a divorce. What should I do?

It is a Saturday. You are watching an intense football match on television. You have the whole apartment to yourself because your wife is out and your children are with their friends. Suddenly your phone rings and it’s your best friend.

You answer and he is in a frenzy. He says “You cannot believe what I just saw. I saw your wife holding hands with another man at Orchard Road!” You don’t believe him but he insists that he is telling you the truth. The next thing you know, he sends you a photo of the improper association he witnessed. True enough, your wife is holding hands with another man! Not only that, but the man is your friend! You are mad. You want to bash a wall in.

You want a divorce and want to rely on Adultery.

So Can You?

No, you cannot.

Your best friend seeing your wife holding your friend’s hand is not enough, and does not constitute adultery. Again, you need to prove that your wife is having sex with your friend.

What Evidence Do I Need?

To gather evidence in such a situation, you can also hire a Private Investigator. A private investigator will follow your wife to try and obtain video or photographic evidence of your wife having sex. However, again, you need to show that your wife had sexual intercourse with your friend. Given that it is difficult to obtain photographic or video evidence of your wife having sexual intercourse with your friend, you may consider relying on Unreasonable Behaviour instead.

However, if you do have enough evidence, you can rely on Adultery. You can also include your friend as a Defendant in your divorce proceedings.

I have enough evidence. What next?

So what do I do with the evidence gathered?

Luckily, the Court is aware of difficulty in certain situations showing that your husband has committed Adultery. As such, there is a method known as “Inclination and Opportunity”.

But, What On Earth Is That?

It is indirect evidence that your husband has a mistress and has committed adultery. This includes flirtatious behaviour, suggestive text messages and even the private investigator’s report showing him hugging another woman. The report may also show him walking into a hotel room with another woman, which could be an opportunity for him to commit Adultery.

However, in such situations where it might be difficult to prove Adultery, it may be better to consider divorce based on Unreasonable Behaviour.

But What If I Have Enough Evidence Of Adultery? What Next?

Once you have discovered your spouse has committed adultery, and have the evidence to substantiate your claim of such improper associations, you need to either move out or chase him out of the home for divorce purposes.

You should do either of the above within 6 months of finding out. Otherwise, the court will think that you have accepted his behaviour and is fine with it. At the same time, divorce proceedings should also be commenced.

If you want to rely on adultery for showing that your marriage has irretrievably broken down, it is important that divorce proceedings are commenced within 6 months of discovering the adulterous behaviour. If the divorce process is commenced after 6 months from the discovery, you can no longer rely on Adultery.

In divorce, to succeed on the reason of Adultery for divorce purposes, you also need to show that you cannot live with him anymore. You find it intolerable.

I have succeeded in showing that my husband committed Adultery in court. Do I get an advantage?

No, you do not.

Many think that since it is his fault and that because of your spouse’s unreasonable behaviour, he has given you no option but to file for divorce, therefore, you should be granted more in terms of ancillary matters. Ancillary matters include child custody matters, more maintenance, or a bigger percentage of the matrimonial assets.

However, that is not how it works.

Things like maintenance, the matrimonial home and matrimonial assets are considered separate issues from the reason for divorce. They do not link.

Additionally, adultery also does not affect your children in terms of custody, care and control. The court will always decide in the best interest of your children. Contrary to popular belief, it does not mean that because of the obvious spousal wrongdoing, the cheating spouse will immediately lose custody of the children. However, the Court may consider that your children being around another woman is not in their best interest.

In exceptional circumstances, the court may award the plaintiff’s legal fees and the costs of hiring a private investigator, but that is for the court to decide.

The most that you can gain from proving adultery is self-satisfaction and nothing more.

Conclusion

It is often difficult to prove adultery. It can also be costly to hire a private investigator.

Ultimately, when considering adultery, the aggrieved spouse filing for divorce should evaluate the facts of the case on whether he or she is able to provide direct evidence. If you are unable to, it may be wise to rely on the alternative of Unreasonable Behaviour.

Discovering that your spouse has committed adultery is never an easy thing. It is a life changing event that can be both emotionally heartbreaking and mentally taxing. However, it is important to bear in mind that the Family Justice Court does not operate on a “fault” basis, and relying solely on adultery does not and will not benefit you in a divorce. The Court will always decide divorce proceedings in a just and equitable manner.

Hence, before you decide to file for divorce, it would be beneficial for you to carefully consider your options. Always remember that divorce proceedings can be resolved amicably and less painfully, and of course more cost effectively.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is considered adultery in Singapore divorce cases?

Adultery is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone of the opposite sex who is not their spouse. It requires proof of actual sexual intercourse, not just foreplay or other intimate acts.

How can I prove adultery for a divorce in Singapore?

Proof of adultery typically requires concrete evidence such as photographs, videos, or recordings of the act itself or a confession from your spouse. A private investigator's report showing suggestive behaviour may also be used as indirect evidence.

Is catching my spouse in bed with someone else enough to prove adultery?

Merely catching your spouse in bed with someone else is not sufficient proof of adultery. You need concrete evidence of sexual intercourse, such as visual evidence or a recorded confession from your spouse.

Can I use a paternity test as evidence of adultery?

Yes, a paternity test proving that you are not the father of your wife's child can be strong evidence of adultery, especially if you haven't had sexual relations with your wife during the conception period.

How long do I have to file for divorce after discovering adultery?

You should file for divorce within 6 months of discovering the adultery. If you continue living with your spouse beyond this period, the court may assume you've accepted the behaviour.

Does proving adultery give me an advantage in divorce proceedings?

No, proving adultery does not provide advantages in terms of asset division, child custody, or maintenance. The court decides these matters separately from the grounds for divorce.

What if I suspect adultery but can't prove sexual intercourse?

If you can't prove sexual intercourse, you may consider filing for divorce based on unreasonable behaviour instead. Evidence of flirtatious behaviour or inappropriate relationships can support this ground for divorce.